By Geoffrey Ross
BREXIT NEGOTIATION HISTORY ……
……..AND LIKELY RESULTS: BREXIT 2016 – 203 0
· BREXIT 2016: The streets will be paved with gold.
· BREXIT 2017: It won't be as bad as they warned.
· BREXIT 2018: We got through two World Wars. We can do this.
· BREXIT 2020: It would have been great if Remoaners had helped.
· BREXIT 2030: This rat tastes funny. Pass the mint jelly.
BRIEF SUMMARY PRIOR TO THERESA MAY’S MARATHON BREXIT MEETING AT CHEQUERS ON FEBRUARY 22
1) Where the Leaver factions stand in regard to CAKE policy
· Gove/ Johnson etc;- I want to have my cake and eat it.
· Mogg/ Farage etc;- I don’t care how delicious or bad the cake is, I don’t want it.
· Hoey / Field etc;- I was told there would be cake, where is it?
Oh dear !
2) It even gets nuttier and nuttier, given the EU’s position.
· EU: You can't cherry-pick
· UK: OK, we won't. We'll put the cherries in 3 baskets.
· EU: HOW CAN YOU PUT THEM IN BASKETS IF YOU CAN'T PICK THEM?!
Do we really think we can get whatever we want if we just use different words?
AND TO SUMMARISE THE OUTCOME FOR UK’S NEGOCIATING POSITION
AFTER THERESA MAY’S BREXIT MARATHON HELD AT CHEQUERS ON FEBRUARY 22
Hi – I’d like to discuss driving my LH drive car on your UK motorways. I’d like to follow my own local laws but I’m going to make sure that I follow the principle of “equivalence of outcomes” so I will always drive with the aim of not crashing. I recognise that continuing to drive on the right as I do at home would create difficulties given the flow of traffic in the UK, but obviously on a motorway I will be able to drive in the outside lane and treat it as the equivalent of the slow lane at home – I believe this will be an acceptable compromise that recognises my sovereignty while creating a deep and special road-based relationship.
I find roundabouts confusing but traffic lights are ok, so I’d like to diverge when I get to a roundabout, always subject to the overriding “equivalence of outcomes” principle, so I promise to not actually crash. Your police may be concerned by the screeching tyres and evasive action of other road users as I exercise my very limited and reasonable “right to diverge” but I hope you will regard this as evidence of the vibrant and dynamic nature of our new deep and special relationship.
If an accident does happen I don’t want to be subject to UK courts since that would infringe my sovereignty. Instead I propose that we set up an independent tribunal to adjudicate.
Over time there may be other aspects of your motorway laws that I find difficult to comply with or just hard to understand so I reserve the right to follow a programme of “ambitious managed divergence” – we can discuss the details as we go along (just call me on my mobile – it’s not hands-free but I can usually reach it in the passenger footwell – I can always stop if I think it’s unsafe to continue driving – people hoot as they swerve to avoid me parked in the fast lane but reaching the hard shoulder is such a pain and I find driving without the music of the horns is distracting).
I look forward to forging a deep and special partnership of motorway users. But let us be creative as well as practical in designing an ambitious partnership which respects the freedoms and principles of the UK, and the wishes of the foreign drivers like me. A partnership of interests, a partnership of values; a partnership of ambition for a shared future: UK drivers and me side by side delivering prosperity and opportunity for all.
This is the future within our grasp – so, together, let us seize it.
AND
UK: We don't want to be in our local gym any more
EU: OK
EU: What ?
EU: No way !
UK: Why are you punishing us ? Er, new gym anywhere ? hello ???
“The government confirms it will not join the customs union proposed by Corbyn and instead UK will be in another form of customs union which will not be the Customs Union or any existing customs union but a new customs union, with the very same effect as the Customs Union”
Clear? |
